After I Break
by C.M. Oliver is eastwoodgirl
Summary: sequel to Pixie Sticks. Please read Pixie Sticks and its companion fics: Broken Dreams and Lost connection for this story to make sense. Full summary and warnings inside. Read, review, flame…
1. PROLOGUE: The Aftermath

**After I Break**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Glee. Ryan Murphy and the guys at Fox do. But you do know that, of course.**

**WARNING: Self-harm, Procrastination, Suicidal Thoughts, this is a Dark Fic. You have been warned.**

**SUMMARY: Kurt had wanted to just end it all. After losing the lead for West Side Story because of his effemininity, Losing the Election to Brittan's Pixie Sticks Campaign Platform and losing his chances of going to NYADA, Kurt decides he has nothing else to live for. He decides to take the easy way out.**

**A/N: The long wait is over! This sequel is up thanks to all of you my wonderful readers, who have read, favorited, alerted, voted and enjoyed Pixie Sticks, et. Al. You guys rock! Well, I hope that you enjoy this as much! Thanks again, and don't forget to review!**

**01010101010**

**PROLOGUE: The Aftermath**

**(Blaine's POV)**

'_BANG!'_

Everything ceased.

My heart stopped beating the moment I heard that shot. Call it intuition, whatever you may, but I knew right then and there that I had to find Kurt.

I shook my head and willed my feet to keep on running. I was bumping into people, into things, but I really didn't notice, nor did I care.

I reached the last corridor, surprisingly unscathed, leading into the boys' bathrooms. My hands were shaking as I grabbed the door handle. I took a deep breath as I pushed the door open.

I was greeted by an eerie silence.

I was about to turn back and leave…

And then I saw it.

'_Kurt!'_

Peeking out of the farthest stall to my right was a pair of shiny patent black leather shoes. Kurt's shoes. He was the only one in the entire school (except for some other teachers) to ever wear them. And right now, those shoes are telling me that whoever was wearing them wasn't just peeing or taking a dump.

I rushed towards the door of the last cubicle, getting a better angle. Whoever –no –Kurt, I know it's him, seem to be on the floor.

Lying on the floor.

'_Kurt! Open up! Kurt!'_

No answer.

'_Kurt, it's me, Blaine! I know you're in there, please open the door!'_

Still no answer.

No answer.

Nothing.

I bit my lip. _'God, please, no, no, no… not like this.'_

I had to get to Kurt.

Without even thinking, I backed away from the cubicle door and with all my might, gave it a swift kick. I had wanted to get to Kurt so much that I had forgotten that I might hurt him with the impact of the door.

It swung open but not enough for me to get in.

Frustrated, I tried to force-pull the door. Good thing it was cheaply-made; it readily swung in the opposite direction.

That is when I found what I was looking for.

'_Kurt!'_

Kurt was lying on the floor… right next to his school bag. He could have just passed out on the floor due to stress or something, but one look at the glinting object in his hand, confirmed my fears.

He was holding a gun.

Kurt had tried to commit suicide.

My sweet, loving boyfriend had wanted to take his own life.

Forcing all of the shock out of my system, I knelt beside his prone body. Hot tears, long overdue, fell from my eyes, clouding my vision.

'_Kurt!'_

My mind screamed as I enveloped him in the warmest, tightest embrace I could ever manage to give.

'_I'm sorry, Kurt, I didn't know. I did not notice… How could I have not noticed?'_

I pulled myself away from my boyfriend momentarily to look at his face, his sweet, innocent face.

And that was when I noticed it. There were the tears, but…

There was no blood.

I checked him over…

There was no wound.

A barrage of emotions rushed within me. I looked from the gun, to his hand, to his head… then to the wall behind him…

There I saw the bullet.

'_Oh, God!'_

I slumped back next to Kurt's unconscious form. With two visibly shaking fingers, I touched the delicate porcelain skin of my boyfriend's neck.

Pulse.

I rested my head on top of his chest and held my breath as I listened in.

Heartbeat.

Kurt was alive.

The tears of despair I have wept quickly turned into tears of joy. I shook him gently.\

'_Kurt, wake up!'_

He did not stir.

Now, I wasn't one to believe in fairytales, but I knew I had nothing to lose. I cradled Kurt's head in my arms and leaned in to press my lips against his thin, pale ones.

'_I'm here now, please wake up,'_

I felt his lips move against mine, then his body, jerk forward. I leaned back in surprise.

Kurt was awake.

The smile I had on for the relief I felt, carefully morphed into a frown.

Kurt's face had a look of bewilderment and utter disbelief.

**01010101010**

**A/N: And with 55% of the votes… Kurt doesn't die. Blaine gets to him before he attempts another shot. Hoorah! But sadly, the angst and the drama doesn't stop here. Anyway, I hope that was believable enough for you. I am not medically trained nor am I familiar with ballistics and such (except for the occasional refresher course from CSI and NCIS) so, forgive me. Yes, Kurt did fire the gun, but for some reason, he missed. Bad aim perhaps? Shaky hands? A half-hearted attempt? Your guess is as good as mine :) Anyway, thanks for reading. Next chapters will be in an observer's POV. Ah, then we will know why Kurt had that look on his face. Until then, please continue to read and review! - Eastwoodgirl**


	2. Chapter 1: Not for Kurt Hummel

**After I Break**

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who has read, reviewed, favorited and subscribed to this story. You don't know how happy you've made me. As always, I hope you enjoy this next installment! (We now shift into an observer's POV)**

**Chapter 1: Not for Kurt Hummel**

**010101010**

Blaine looked puzzled.

"Kurt, are you alright?"

Kurt did not answer. Instead, he just stared at the boy in front of him, then at his hand… at the gun.

'_I missed, how could I have missed?' _Kurt's mind screamed. That was the only explanation. He must've passed out after firing the gun. He was still very much alive.

"Kurt, let's get you out of here." A soft voice said. Kurt woke up from his trance-like state.

"B-Blaine?"

The dark-haired boy's face was painted with concern.

"Kurt, we need to make sure you're okay," Blaine said, offering the smaller boy his hand for support. "Come on, let's get you to the nurse –"

"No," Kurt shook his head silently, his hand still clutching the gun.

"Kurt, please," Blaine eyed the glinting object warily. "Look, just give me the gun –"

"No!" Kurt yelled, fresh tears welling up in his eyes.

"Kurt, please, I –"

"I said no, Blaine!" Kurt stood up and lifted the gun. He pointed it at Blaine. The latter backed off in shock.

"Kurt please, just tell me what's wrong."

"Wrong? Nothing's **wrong, **Blaine!" He yelled hysterically. "Everything is bright and sunny on this part of the world!"

Blaine bit his lip. He really didn't know how to handle this.

"Kurt, please, just drop the gun," he coaxed the other boy calmly. "You really don't want to do this…"

"No," Kurt now shifted the gun and pointed it at his right temple. "You should leave, Blaine."

"Kurt –"

"I said, leave!"

"Kurt, I really _"

"Leave, or I'll shoot!" Kurt pointed the gun at Blaine once more.

"Kurt, I love you, please" Blaine said, trying to go near the panicked boy. He looked Kurt in the eye. "I love you, please, you're better than this –"

"No, you're lying!" Kurt sobbed. "You don't care about me, or my dreams, or my feelings. None of you do!"

"That's not true, I care. I love you more than anything. Kurt, please you have to believe me. I just need you to put the gun on the floor and walk towards me. I promise we'll talk. We'll make things right."

"Nothing's ever right! Not for Kurt Hummel!" Kurt broke down in uncontrollable sobs. Blaine approached slowly, seeing that his boyfriend's grip on the gun had already loosened. He eased it out of the sobbing boy's shaky hands and placed it gently on the floor. He then proceeded to hug him.

"Shhh… everything will be fine," Said Blaine as he rubbed circles on Kurt's back.

"Everybody hates me, Blaine…"

"No, they don't. They won't know of this either, I promise."

Kurt looked up at him with red, swollen eyes.

"Oh, God, what have I done? I'll –I'll get expelled if they find out!" Kurt broke away from his boyfriend, took the gun off the floor and hastily shoved it back in his book bag. He looked at Blaine pointedly.

"You won't say a thing."

Blaine sighed.

"I won't. But you need to get help, Kurt"

Kurt raised his eyebrows.

"I don't need help. Promise me you'll deny ever seeing this."

"Kurt, you just tried to kill yourself. You need help. Just please talk to Ms. Pillsbury at least –"

"No, she'll blab it to Mr. Schuster, who'll blab it to the entire Glee club and not to mention, my dad!" Kurt said heatedly. "I don't need their help, Blaine." HE then moved closer to the dark-haired boy. "I have you. Please don't tell anyone."

Blaine looked like he was about to open his mouth and argue, when Kurt swiftly moved in and silenced Blaine's lips with his own. Blaine pushed him away. Kurt's expression darkened.

"Trying to **kill yourself** isn't healthy, Kurt. You need –"

"I'm not crazy!" Kurt yelled. "Stop telling me what to do!"

"You're not, I know. I just want to make sure you're okay."

"Stop pretending to care, Blaine Anderson! You're just like the rest of them. Drop the act! If you breathe one word of this –" Kurt pierced him with a death glare and with that, the smaller boy stormed out of the deserted bathroom, leaving his boyfriend speechless.

**010101010**

"Blaine!"

"Yes Rachel?" Blaine had just stepped out of the boy's room, a full minute after Kurt stormed out. He needed time to think things through and get rid of the shock of it all –that, and get rid of a few compromising evidence. He sighed deeply. Knowing your boyfriend has gone suicidal doesn't happen everyday.

"Blaine?"

"Yes Rachel?"

"Did you hear me?" the small brunette gave him a once over.

"No, guess I didn't,"

"Are you fine? You seem a little out of sorts…" Rachel bit her lip. "I was asking if you heard something –something like –like a gun shot?"

Blaine looked at her with wide eyes.

"Are- are you serious, Rachel?" Blaine asked her back, rather nervously. _'Of course, somebody ought to hear that gun shot.' _Blaine thought. _'And it had to be Rachel.'_

He turned his attention back at the girl. The diminutive diva slowly bobbed her head up and down. "I think –I think it came from this way." Rachel gestured at the corridor of the boy's room.

Blaine started to walk away. Rachel followed him.

"I –I saw Kurt headed down here… that's why I followed to check …"

Blaine stopped. Her remembered Kurt's words. _'No one can know… at least not yet…'_

"Are you quite sure it was a gun shot?" he asked the girl testily, clearing his throat in the process. "I mean, as you see I was just in the bathroom and I didn't hear a thing."

"But –"

"Did anybody else hear what you've heard? Was someone with you?" _'I may need to do some damage control… for Kurt's sake…'_

"No, I guess not." Rachel looked around. "I was alone when I heard it and –and everyone else was still in their club meetings –"

"Then just drop it, Rachel."

"But –"

"I said, just drop it!" Blaine blurted out. Rachel's eyes widened as Blaine exhaled to recover himself.

"Look, Rachel, I didn't hear a thing. A gun? That's just absurd."

"But Kurt –"

"Kurt is fine. I spoke with him. He's just not feeling well that's why he skipped Glee practice. Thanks for your concern but I really must be off." Blaine walked off. Rachel didn't try to follow him anymore. She knew something was up but if Blaine didn't want to talk to her about it, she can't make him. Stars were born that way, elusive. And as a fellow star like Blaine, she had to understand his need for privacy. Rachel sighed and went her way towards Glee practice. She'll have to push the nagging feeling away. She would have to wait until Kurt was all better before she could apologize to him personally as well.

**01010101010**

**A/N: There you go. So Kurt wants to keep it quiet, Blaine decides to help him do that –for now and Rachel –well, she'll be around the whole thing that's for sure. Tell me what you think. Do you like the direction this story is taking? Please review! Until next time - Eastwoodgirl**


	3. Chapter 2: More Pain

**After I Break**

**A/N: I've been depressed lately, sorry. Thanks to everyone who continues to read and support the stuff I make. Forgive the shortness of this chapter.**

**Chapter Two: More Pain**

Kurt flopped down on his bed.

'_God, what is happening to me?'_

He had just skipped Glee practice, went home, slipped into his dad's room and carefully placed the gun back in the drawer.

'_How could I be so stupid?'_

He didn't even bother to change his dirty clothes nor wash off the makeup off his face.

'_Did I really just want to end it all?'_

Kurt buried his face into the pillow and cried. All sorts of thoughts ran through his head.

'_How could I have missed? What went wrong? I should have already died. Now, Blaine knows, he thinks I've gone crazy – he'll try and stop me! I –I can't let him! I'll have to find another way to deal with this –not the gun. Some other way… Yes, that's it! But –but Blaine said he loves me, could he really care? N, that's just an act. He didn't even try to follow me home. Nope. No calls, no messages either. He's lying. Nobody cares!'_

Kurt started hitting the bed with his curled up fists angrily.

'_No, no, no! God! I'm feeling –I'm not crazy! What the heck is happening to me? I-I can't take this anymore!'_

Kurt stood up abruptly and went into his en suite bathroom. He stared at his reflection in the mirror; his face was flushed, his eyes puffed out, his hair disheveled, his clothes, dirty –it wasn't him anymore. Kurt Hummel has been taken over by an empty shell. His face then twisted into a painful grin as he rammed his fist into the bathroom mirror.

'CRACK!'

Glass and blood splattered all over the cold tiled area. Kurt's hand hurt but he found it oddly satisfying. He then stared at his bloody hand.

"Maybe," Kurt whispered. "I really don't want the pain to go away." He brought the hand and rubbed it against his porcelain cheek. "Maybe I need more." He then looked back at his reflection in the broken glass. He smiled through the cracks. "Maybe this new me wouldn't be so bad…"

**01010101010**

Blaine sighed as he went up to his room. That day felt longer than usual. He set his bag down on the floor, removed his jacket and shoes and bounce on his bed. He had wanted to see Kurt or even just talk to him, but he really didn't know how to handle his broken boyfriend right now. Blaine's phone suddenly chirped. He quickly grabbed it to answer the call, expecting it to be Kurt, but to his surprise, it was somebody else.

"Hello, Sebastian?" he greeted the boy on the other line rather unenthusiastically.

'_Hey Blaine, what's up?'_

"Long day…" Blaine breathed. _'That and my boyfriend had just tried to commit suicide.'_ "By the way, did you need anything?" He asked. He wasn't really in the mood for a chit chat.

_Nah, well I was just wondering if you would like to check out that new club that opens tonight –'_

"Sorry, Sebastian, Kurt isn't feeling well. We will have to turn you down on that one."

'_Well, just you come along then. Dave and Wes will be there. Come on it'll be fun. I'm sure your boyfriend won't miss you much for one night –'_

"Well –"

'_Come on, it might just be what you need.'_

Blaine sighed. "O –okay, but I'll have to tell Kurt. I hate going behind his back. Sebastian laughed.

'_Sure thing, boyfriend. I'll pick you up at eight.'_ The line went off. Blaine stared at his phone with an unreadable expression. He then proceeded to dial Kurt's number. The line rang.

"Pick up, Kurt," Blaine whispered to himself. But after eight rings, he gave up. Kurt did not want to talk to him, fine. He carefully placed his phone on his bedside table and thought about the situation. Kurt needed him. But if Kurt does not want his help, he cannot force him to it. Blaine sighed. Besides, he needed his sanity after all that had happened that day. Maybe Sebastian was right. He needed some time away from Kurt.

**010101010**

**A/N: Short. Sorry. I'm just not really in the zone. I promise to make it up to you in the next chapter though, thanks for reading. -Eastwoodgirl**


	4. Chapter 3: Red Light, White Light

**After I Break**

**A/N: I know I should be burned at the stake for not updating sooner… Be my guest. I kind of felt bad myself for not being able to do so. Well I'm back, and I do hope you enjoy this chapter.**

**Chapter 3: Red Light, White Light**

**010101010**

"Kurt!" Carole's voice rang from downstairs. "Your father and I will be out for dinner and Finn's going to Rachel's place, will you be alright home alone?"

'_Of course, not,' _Kurt thought ruefully, cradling his now bandaged left hand. _'Good thing it was the left, not the right or I'll have a lot of explaining to do when I can't take down notes for Geometry class.' _

Mustering all of the cheerfulness that was left in him, Kurt yelled back.

"Sure thing, Carole! Enjoy!"

Without another word, Kurt heard the front door open and close. A few seconds later, an engine was revving up. Kurt tuned out the sound by burying his face in the pillow. He had gotten cleaned up after his earlier ordeal I the bathroom and had gotten changed into plain clothes – a gray hooded, long-sleeved shirt and generic black jeans. He waited a full five minutes after his family had abandoned him for the night before making his way downstairs.

'_I had almost died and nobody knew…' _he thought.

'_That's because nobody cares,' _another voice in his mind said.

Kurt sighed heavily as he pulled on his trainers –the ones that he never really uses unless he had to work in his dad's shop. He never even bothered to note that those trainers had grease stains on them, or that they did not match his outfit. He really did not care anymore.

'_I need time to clear my head,' _Kurt thought as he slipped past the front door and out into the dark night.

**010101010**

It was half-past eight and Blaine sat across the table from Sebastian with an uneasy look on his face. They were at Trends, the new club that had just opened.

"What's the matter, Blaine?" Sebastian asked, cocking his head to one side as he took a sip of his margarita.

"Did Dave and Wes tell you why they cancelled the last minute?" Blaine replied back with a question. Sebastian smiled his patented cat-ate-the-canary smile.

"Does it matter?"

Blaine sighed.

"I was under the impression that this would be like a Warbler reunion. Not some sort of a –"

"Date?" Sebastian supplied, smirking. "I don't see any problem with that Blainey –boy, if you ask me –"

Blaine huffed.

"Sebastian, I don't know what you're playing at –why –why you're doing this –I bet David and Wesley aren't even aware of this event –"

"So what if they're not?" Sebastian moved in to grab Blaine's hand. Blaine pulled it away roughly.

"Sebastian, I –I'm with Kurt, okay?" Blaine yelled frustratedly over the loud music. "And I love him, so – Argh!" Blaine stood up abruptly. He knew he shouldn't have agreed to this. His instincts were yelling at him that Sebastian had an ulterior motive for asking him out, but he didn't listen. He should've just stayed home and slept… or went over to see Kurt or something.

Kurt.

'_Oh, God. I'm such an awful boyfriend.' _His boyfriend was in a tight dilemma and here he was, apparently partying.

"I'll be leaving now, Sebastian. NO need to give me a ride home." He then started to walk towards the exit without even as so much of a glance back.

'_I'll have to see Kurt. If he doesn't want to answer my calls, I'll have to talk to him personally,' _Blaine was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he didn't even notice that Sebastian had followed him.

"Wait up, pretty boy, we're just starting to have fun here!" Sebastian giggled. Apparently he had already consumed more than enough alcohol.

"No, Sebastian, I need to go home and see my boyfriend. This was a bad idea. Good –"

The rest of his words disappeared in this throat as Sebastian pulled his hand and drawn his body towards him, planting a rough kiss on Blaine's slightly parted lips. Blaine's head needed a few seconds before it registered the shock. He pushed Sebastian away frantically.

"Is –is this some kind of a sick joke, Sebastian?" Blaine asked angrily. Sebastian merely smiled at him, rather cockily. Blaine took a step back.

"I was actually wondering the same thing," A quiet voice said from behind him.

"Kurt?" Blaine turned to face his boyfriend. "I –I –wait, what are you doing here? I mean, I was just –just –"

Kurt held his hand up. Blaine saw bandages on it.

"Just shut up, Blaine," Kurt said, coldly. The smaller boy then walked towards Sebastian, who was up until then, watching them, amused.

"Listen, Mr. I'm-too-cool, I don't like you. I don't like you at all. Kurt began to pace around the half-drunk Warbler. "I did warn you not to touch my boyfriend, but you still did. And you know what?" Kurt stopped right in between Sebastian and Blaine. He gave Blaine a once-over before shifting his attention back to Sebastian. The Warbler smirked.

"What are you going to do to me, lady face? Scare me off with your pitchy falsetto?" Sebastian laughed. Kurt mirrored his fake laugh.

"No," Kurt said, his face suddenly turning serious. "This –" The smaller boy then proceeded to land a punch on Sebastian's face, dead center. Everybody who saw the debacle froze in their spots. Blaine stared, gaping, but Kurt did not even flinch.

"Now, you have a valid reason to get that plastic surgery you wanted." Kurt scoffed, leaving the scene. When he was almost out of the door, he turned back. "And oh, you're welcome. My boyfriend? He's yours." Kurt gave them one last glare before leaving.

**010101010**

Hot tears fell from Kurt's eyes as he stormed past hordes of crazy hormonal teenagers. He had just wanted a painless alcoholic induced stupor and he happened to chance by that newly opened club, trends. Imagine his surprise when he went in and saw his supposedly perfect boyfriend lip-locking with Sebastian, Mr. I'm-Too-Good-For-You, Smythe in the middle of the crowd, where everyone could see –and gossip on how gay Kurt Hummel was being cheated on by his gay boyfriend Blaine Anderson. Kurt angrily brushed a fat tear that was sitting on his pale cheek away and headed for his car. _'Maybe I should have just broken another mirror,'_ he thought as he slid in his seat and started revving up the engine. He didn't even bother to fasten up his seatbelt. As Kurt's car screeched off the paved parking lot, he couldn't help but think back to his earlier moment in the boys' bathroom. _'That's why he pushed me away. I bet he's just with me I the first place because he's feeling sorry for me.'_ Kurt stepped on the gas forcefully as he reached the highway. _'I hate you, Blaine Anderson! You're a lying cheat –" _Another swell of tears blurred Kurt's vision as he approached an intersection; he hastily wiped them off with his good hand… the one that he smacked Sebastian with. _'I hate all of you! You all pretend to care, but you don't! I should've just died! I shouldn't have missed! God! It hurts –so much!'_ Kurt's mind screamed at the same moment as squealing tires were heard. The red light was on but Kurt was too wrapped up in his emotions –he did not see the red. But he pretty much did see the white head light of the oncoming truck headed towards his direction.

"NO!"

**010101010**

Blaine stood frozen as Kurt landed his punch on Sebastian. NO, it wasn't because he didn't know Kurt could hit a guy – Kurt may seem delicate, but Blaine knew he was feisty. No, it was because of the look in Kurt's eyes. He'd never seen the smaller boy look so… blank. Yes, his face looked upset, angry, but his eyes were… there was no other word for it, uncaring. As if nothing mattered to him anymore. When Kurt gave him that smoldering look though, Blaine woke up from his stupor. He weaved through the crowd trying to catch up with his boyfriend.

"Kurt!" He yelled over the distance and the noise of the crowd. He picked up his pace but Kurt was too fast for him.

"Kurt!" Blaine yelled once more. _'I need to speak to him. Now. I don't know what he'll do… not after what I saw this morning… I need to explain, he needs to know…'_ Blaine sped up once more, but as soon as he heard the engine of Kurt's car, he knew it was useless.

"Kurt!" He yelled after the speeding vehicle, breathing heavily, not knowing that that could be the last time he'll see the boy he loved alive.

**010101010**

**A/N: Cliffhanger, anyone? I'm terribly sorry. I'm just not liking the direction this particular story is taking. But if you could tell me what you think in a review, that would REALLY, I mean, REALLY help bail me out of this disgusting rut I'm in. Reviews, please? Thank you.**

**By the way I will have a new Klaine story up in a few hours. It's called ****I Remember The Boy****. Please check it out. -Eastwoodgirl**


	5. Chapter 4: Impact

**After I Break**

**A/N: The long wait is over! Thanks to everyone who has convinced me to continue this story. I hope you enjoy and don't forget to review!**

**DISCLAIMER: No, I still don't own Glee, sadly.**

**Chapter 4: Impact**

**010101010**

"No!"

Kurt screamed his lungs out as he felt his heart leap up to his throat. The blinding flash of the oncoming truck's headlights drowned his tensed body inside his car.

Then, impact.

**010101010**

Blaine's thumb felt numb and raw at the same time. It has been around ten minutes since his boyfriend had peeled off the parking lot of Trends, looking hell-bent on tearing up the streets of Lima. It had also been around ten minutes since he had begun pressing number 2 on his phone's speed dial.

"Come on, Kurt, pick-up!" Blaine yelled hysterically at his cell phone. But the other line just rang continuously for a while, and then, just ended without anybody, not even voicemail, picking up.

It had been like that –a sickening cycle for the last ten minutes. The dark-haired boy cursed under his breath as after what felt like the thousandth time he had tried to reach Kurt, the call dropped once more.

"Fuck!" he stared at his phone incredulously and was about to throw it against the paved sidewalk where he stood when it rang. "Teenage Dream" suddenly filled the otherwise quiet late night air. Blaine quickly glanced at the blinking LCD.

_**Incoming call: **__Kurt Hummel_

Blaine's hand shook as he pressed the answer button and put his phone against his left ear.

"Kurt! Oh, God, I've been trying to reach you! Look, I'm –"

"I'm sorry, Mr. Anderson? But this is not Kurt Hummel," a cold, mechanical-sounding voice came on from the other end. Blaine's eyes hot up. He stared at his cell phone for a brief moment before placing it back against his ear.

"Who are you? And what are you doing with my boyfriend's cell phone?" The hazel-eyed brunette demanded. "If you –"

"I'm sorry," the voce spoke once more. The tone still sounded professional, but it seemed to have softened a bit. "We have been trying to locate a family member to ask them to proceed to Lima General but, all the numbers we have tried so far are either busy or out of coverage area –and your number was in the speed dial so –"

"Wait, what? Lima General? What are you talking about?" Blaine spat out. "It has been a long night –will you just tell me what's wrong?" The junior already started walking back towards the bar.

There was a hesitant pause on the other line. Blaine was about to yell at whoever was on the phone when the person spoke once more.

"I'm sorry, but Kurt Hummel had been involved in a serious car accident about 5 minutes ago. He has been found unconscious in the wreckage and is on the way to Lima General –"

Blaine felt his heart stop. He dropped his cell phone. He did not need to hear anymore.

"Kurt, no!"

**010101010**

It was half-past ten, when the emergency bay of Lima General came to life all of a sudden. A bloodied, broken figure of a white male involved in an ugly car accident was being wheeled into the swing doors –a horde of interns and residents following him. He was a mess –a resident had pronounced him 20/80 upon arrival.

He may not last the night, they said.

As soon as the last aide, carrying the IV drip was through to the door, it shut close. The sign outside, above the door that said 'EMERGENCY' was lit.

**010101010**

A few blocks away, a pale, visibly shaken Blaine Anderson was riding shot gun. His fists were clenched so tightly that his knuckles have all but turned white; he bit his lips so hard, that he drew a small amount of blood; he held his breath for so long, that his face was almost blue.

"Dude, did they say Lima General?" a panicked but quiet voice cut into his reveries, but Blaine paid no attention to it. He continued to grip his seat belt and stared ahead.

"Dude, Blaine, are you sure it was really Kurt? Did they say –"

Blaine kept staring.

"Dude, can you hear _"

"For crying out loud! Just drive Finn! Please!" The dark-haired brunette spat out all of a sudden. He had tried earlier to contact Burt or Carole but their phones were out of coverage area. He had managed to contact Finn though, after a couple of attempts (he had been busy with Rachel, he said) and he was able to ask the tall senior to pick him up and drive them to Lima General.

Finn frowned and then sighed.

"Sorry, Blaine, I was just –"

"Worried, I know," Blaine sighed. "Sorry, Finn. It's just that Kurt and I –we were not really okay before he left, and now –" Blaine closed his eyes briefly before continuing. "I'd kill myself if anything ever happens to him –"

"Hey, don't think about things like that," Finn said in his most comforting manner. "Kurt will be fine –he's strong. Who knows? He may only be getting a stitch or two –he'll be fine Blaine," Finn finished lightly; but Blaine knew that the tall senior did not believe a word he said_. 'He did not know Kurt, none of them do,' _Blaine thought sadly. Blaine closed his eyes once more.

'_Kurt… please, please be okay…'_

"We're here!" Finn announced as he wheeled his car into the parking lot of Lima General Hospital, right in front of the emergency bay. He hadn't even stepped on the breaks when Blaine bolted out of his seat and sped towards the nearest entrance.

**010101010**

Blaine ran towards the reception desk.

"Kurt Hummel, please. He was in a car accident –"

"Are you family?" The kindly old nurse behind the counter asked. Blaine sighed.

"I –"

"He is Kurt Hummel's fiancé. I'm the step brother," Finn finished for him. Blaine gave the other boy a grateful look. Finn gave him a smile as he placed an arm around the younger boy in show of support.

"Our parents are currently out of reach, but I have my girlfriend out trying to track them down."

The nurse nodded.

"Very well, I will need information for you two and for Mr. Hummel as well," she then handed them a couple of forms. "Please fill them up –"

"Can this wait? I mean, we don't even know his condition yet!" Blaine spat out heatedly. "Is he okay? Is he –"

"I'll take care of this ma'am," Finn interrupted, trying to calm the now hysterical Blaine. "But please, at least tell us about my brother's condition first,"

"He is still in the emergency O.R." the nurse said quietly. "I'm afraid that's all I can tell you. Our residents are still working on him," she ended with a tone of finality.

"Thank you, " said Finn. "We'll just wait here." He then moved Blaine and himself towards the waiting area right outside the EOR. Blaine looked like he was about to throw up as he slumped down in a vacant plastic seat. Finn sat right next to him, still clutching the hospital forms in his hands. He turned to face the younger boy who now had his head hung low, his face buried in both his hands.

"Dude, I –"

"This is all my fault!" Blaine cried, still not taking his face off of his hands. "Kurt needed me, Finn! And I wasn't there!"

"Blaine, I'm sure Kurt –"

"No, you don't know!" Blaine shouted angrily/ "Kurt –he –he wasn't well… he hasn't been okay lately. Yesterday …" his voice trailed off.

"What?" Finn asked. "What's with yesterday, Blaine? What's wrong with Kurt?"

Blaine looked at him, and then at his hands.

"Kurt –had been –depressed." The junior sighed. "He –he tried to –"

Suddenly, the doors to the EOR burst open.

"Kurt Hummel?" A stern-looking intern strode out. Blaine bolted from his seat.

"Is he okay? What –"

The doctor held his hand up.

"Are you family?"

"I'm his fiancé! Now please just tell me if he's okay, please!" Blaine shouted. Finn made a move to grab the other boy's shoulders.

"Blaine, calm down," Finn then addressed the doctor. "I'm the patient's brother, is he okay?"

The doctor gave them a heavy sigh.

"We need to make decisions –"

"What do you mean?" Blaine interrupted. "What decisions are you talking about –"

"Our parents should be on their way," Finn cut in, seeing as Blaine was about to already lose it. "But can you at least tell us when will Kurt get out of surgery?"

A pregnant pause came next. Blaine could hear his heartbeat soar.

'_Kurt, please, please be okay,'_

"The collision and the resulting impact caused, aside from a few lacerations, minor bone injuries and trauma that we have already dealt with." The doctor then paused to allow them to take it in. When he felt that the two teenagers have already digested the information, he continued.

"However, Mr. Hummel had also contracted a massive hemorrhage in his occipital lobe, causing further damage that needs –"

"I'm sorry, what?" Finn queried. "What exactly –"

"He is suffering from internal bleeding in his brain," Blaine filled in for him in a mechanical voice.

"What?" Finn's face was indescribable. He looked from Blaine to the doctor, and back to Blaine. He did not know much about medical terms but, he knew enough to know that it wasn't good news. He closed his eyes as he felt a terrible headache come on. He then stole a quick glance at the boy next to him. Blaine's face was blank –it was as if the dark-haired boy wasn't there anymore –it was now just an empty shell that stood by him. Finn shifted his attention back to the doctor who apparently wasn't quite done delivering the bad news yet.

"Mr. Hummel is currently in a coma –we need permission to perform an emergency open surgery to remove the clotting in his brain."

**010101010**

**A/N: So, it's not on HIATUS anymore, yay! But updates on this will still be slow… unless you can give me 5 reviews or more for this chapter –that would certainly make me want to update sooner! So, tell me what you think: reviews, flames, bring 'em on! -Eastwoodgirl**


	6. Chapter 5: Lights Out

**After I Break**

**A/N: I don't think I got my five reviews for the previous chapter, but here it is anyway. Enjoy and don't forget to review this time!**

**DISCLAIMER: GLEE? Nope, not mine. I'm just an obsessed freak who indulges in playing God from time to time.**

**Chapter 5: Lights Out**

**010101010**

Blaine slumped down in his seat.

'_This is not happening! Not Kurt!'_

He buried his face deep in his hands as Finn went to try and call Rachel to see if Burt and Carole had been found. The intern, Dr. Watson, had just finished telling them about Kurt's condition.

Kurt needed brain surgery to remove the clotting in his head. And that would not even assure them that Kurt would be fine when he woke up.

If he did wake up.

'_Fuck!'_ Blaine cursed himself. He had never felt so helpless as he did now. He wanted to cry, hurt himself or even die right then and there –but what good would that do? He failed. He had failed Kurt. By the time Blaine removed his head from his hands, his eyes met Finn's who was walking back towards him.

"Mom and Burt are on their way with Rachel,"

Blaine nodded, not knowing what to say to that. IN his honest opinion, the arrival of Mr. Mrs. Hummel would not do any change in Kurt's predicament anyway. Kurt was still fighting for dear life…

'_Or is he?'_ A bitter voice at the back of Blaine's head cut into his reveries painfully. _'He had just tried to kill himself, not longer than 24 hours ago…'_

Blaine shook his head as he forced the macabre thought away from his head.

'_Kurt, if only I followed you home. If only I never stopped trying to call you and talk to you… if only I did not go with Sebastian… if only…'_

"Hey Blaine, are you okay?"

Blaine woke up out of his stupor. Finn was eyeing him with a concerned look.

"Don't blame yourself, man," the tall senior tried to comfort him. "Kurt wouldn't want –"

"Who knows what Kurt would want?" Blaine spat out angrily all of a sudden. "Would you know what he would want, Finn?" He turned on the older boy. Finn sat quietly, obviously trying not to answer back and aggravate the situation.

"What? Cat got your tongue, Hudson?" Blaine stood up. "Of course you wouldn't. Nobody would know what Kurt wants! Did we ever even think of asking him? No!"

The waiting area was mercifully empty, except for them; Blaine's voice rang like a bullet through the dead silence of the night. Finn sighed heavily.

"Look, Blaine, I know there's something wrong, but you need to calm down –"

"CALM DOWN? Finn, are you even listening to yourself?" How can I "calm down" when my boyfriend is tethering on the brink of death? How can I fucking "calm down" knowing that he may never be the same boy that I loved? How can I "calm down" when the last time we saw each other, he was mad at me? How the heck can I –"

"Blaine –"

" –fucking "calm down" knowing that Kurt may n o longer want to live after all this shit?"

Silence.

Blaine took deep breaths as he tried to regain his normal breathing. He said it. Finally. Now, if only Finn would figure out what he meant…

"What –what do you mean –by that?" Finn's face was indescribable as he stared at the younger boy. Blaine scoffed.

"Not the brightest crayon in the box, are you?"

"Just answer the damned question, Anderson!" Finn moved threateningly towards the dark-haired junior. "Kurt is my brother –what do you mean he no longer wants to live?"

Blaine held Finn's gaze.

"Kurt tried to kill himself earlier today."

Finn pulled back.

"What?" He eyed the emergency OR doors then Blaine once more. "Is this some kind of a sick joke?"

Blaine bit his lip but did not say anything. Finn gaped at him.

"Good God, Blaine, I –"

"He warned me not to tell anybody," Blaine said, his voice, barely a whisper. He caught Finn's eye. "I knew it was wrong –I should have at least told you –but he threatened to do something drastic. He did not tell me what, but I knew he was going to hurt himself again if I did not do as he asked –"

"Wait, again?" Finn asked. "What –what did Kurt try to do?"

Blaine closed his eyes, trying hard to stop the tears from falling, as he forced himself to recall the horrible moments that he and Kurt shared in the boys' room. It was something he had vowed to lock away in the depths of his consciousness –an ugly old nightmare he certainly did not want to remember. With a deep breath, Blaine opened his eyes and searched for the tall senior's own.

"He tried to shoot himself."

**010101010**

Rachel was driving. She drove like her life depended on it. She was turning into a side street that would take her to the back entrance of Lima General. As she took one final turn, she glanced at the rearview mirror. A couple of pairs of eyes stared right back at her –eyes that were worried, frightened and uncertain.

She and Finn were having a wonderful, quiet evening when the call from Blaine came. Finn put the dark-haired junior on speaker. He sounded terrible. Finn immediately left after they have been briefed.

Kurt. Accident. Lima General. Now.

Five words were all it took.

Rachel took her favorite cashmere sweater and her car keys and drove to the outskirts of town to find Burt and Carole, who apparently had both their cell phones turned off. They were dining in a recently-opened fine dining restaurant, oblivious to the plight of one of their sons. Rachel approached the establishment warily. Her hair was a mess, and her clothes were certainly inappropriate, but she fought her way in.

Her eyes then landed on the sweet, unsuspecting couple who held hands. It was Carole who saw her first.

"Oh my, Rachel, what's the matter dear?"

Rachel froze on her spot. Burt turned around to look at her. Rachel held her breath.

Kurt. Accident. Lima General. Now.

Carole's hands flew up to her rouged lips as Burt hastily withdrew his wallet and unceremoniously dumped a wad of bills on the table –it looked too much for a dinner of steak and wine, but he did not care. Together, the three of them stormed out of the quiet restaurant and into the parking lot.

By the time they had reached it, Carole held Burt back before the man could even reach his car. She then proceeded to nod in Rachel's direction. The young brunette nodded right back.

"I'll drive,"

After what felt like forever, Rachel was maneuvering her car into the parking lot of Lima General Hospital. But before she could even kill the engine, Burt was already rushing towards the emergency bay, with a teary-eyed Carole following in his wake.

**010101010**

Burt reached the receiving desk in record time.

"Hummel! My son! How is my son –"

"Burt! A familiar voice called out from behind him. Burt turned to look.

"Finn! Oh God! What happened to Kurt? Tell me!" Is he okay? Is he –"

"Kurt –was in an accident. He – he was driving, he did not apparently see the light change as he crossed the intersection and –and –" After those phrases, Finn found out that he couldn't continue any longer. He looked around. His mom as coming up to them, with Rachel right behind her. Finn sighed as his girlfriend went up to him and gave his trembling hand a light squeeze. Finn turned his attention back to Burt. The man was clutching his chest, his face, pale as a ghost's.

"What –what is his condition now?"

Finn took a deep breath. He wished that Dr. Watson would come out of the EOR at that particular instant, but it was not to happen. The tall senior instead glanced at the other boy that stood silently by the EOR doors, who everyone seemed to have forgotten or not noticed that was there. Blaine had told him everything. But no matter what…

"The doctors are operating on him," Finn said, swallowing the bile that went up his throat. "Dr. Watson spoke to us; I'm not sure of the medical term, ham… hem…. Hemo –"

"Hemorrhage?" Rachel supplied helpfully. Finn nodded. Carole's hands flew up to her mouth once more. Burt buried his face in his hands in frustration. They stood in silence like that in silence for a couple of minutes –until the EOR doors swung open with a squeak.

"Hummel?"

It was Dr. Watson. Finn's head snapped up, as did Blaine's Both boys hurried up to the doctor, the rest of the family following them warily. Blaine held his breath as the light on the 'Emergency' sign above the EOR doors was turned off.

The operation was over.

Dr. Watson looked grim, The doctor cleared his throat loudly before delivering the news.

'_Please, Kurt,'_ Blaine pleaded in his head. _'Please be okay,'_

**010101010**

**A/N: Dundundundun! So, will Kurt live? It's up to you people. I might finish this in the next chapter… depends if I get reviews and stuff… I did not get my 5 for the last chapter. Can I get 10 for this then? Pretty please? Thank you! -Eastwoodgirl**


	7. Chapter 6: The Aftermath

**After I Break**

**DISCLAIMER: The author does not claim ownership of the characters used in this fictional story, nor does she intend to make money out of it. Any concept, entity and the like that you recognize belong to their specific owners. This story was written and published for the purpose of entertainment only. Thank you and enjoy. Final chapter.**

**Chapter 6: The Aftermath**

**010101010**

(Three weeks later…)

Blaine straightened his navy blue bow tie and smoothed his hair. He looked at his reflection in the mirror. He still looked the same on the outside, but inside, he knew he had changed.

'_The events of three weeks ago would change anyone,_ he thought ruefully. A soft knock on his bedroom door sent him back to immediate reality. A head of dark waves, identical to his own, popped in his door.

"Someone called Finn's here to see you, little brother."

"Thanks Cooper."

Blaine took one last glance at himself before heading towards his bedspread. A bouquet of fresh pink roses lay on top of his pillow.

Pink roses.

Kurt's favorite.

Blaine tried to blink back the tears that were forming in his hazel eyes. He grabbed the roses.

'_Kurt,'_

The dark-haired junior sighed as he headed downstairs. Finn was waiting for him in the Andersons' sitting room.

"Blaine," Finn greeted him somberly.

"Is it time already?" Blaine asked. Finn nodded.

"Everybody's waiting for us."

Blaine took a deep breath.

"Let's go."

Both boys stepped out of the Anderson household and made their way towards Finn's waiting car. A few minutes later, both were strapped in their seats and Finn was driving through a side street. He eyed the other boy warily. Blaine was biting his lip, looking nervous, holding onto his seatbelt for dear life. Finn couldn't help but let his mind flash back to that fateful day just three weeks ago. This, now, today, felt like an ugly déjà vu. The older boy cleared his throat.

It will be fine Blaine, I promise."

Unlike three weeks ago, Blaine did not contend with Finn. He simply nodded and continued to stare at the road ahead.

**010101010**

A number of cars were parked outside the Hudson-Hummel household when Finn and Blaine arrived. Finn parked nearest the doorway and shut the engine. He unbuckled his seatbelt and shot a glance at the boy beside him.

"Come on, let's go inside. Kurt's waiting for you."

Blaine sighed and picked up the roses on his lap. He unbuckled his seatbelt and jumped off the car.

The walk towards the house was short, but to Blaine, it felt like forever. Finn preceded him and opened the door for both of them. They were greeted by Carole's warm face.

"Blaine, thank goodness you're here. Everyone's early, but it's you he's waiting for."

Blaine nodded at her nervously. Finn noticed his reluctance and clapped him on the back, motioning for him to step forward. They entered the sitting room where a number of familiar faces sat: Mr. Schuester was conversing with Artie in hushed tones; Rachel spoke to Mike and Tina about NYADA and Julliard; Mercedes held hands with Sam –they all looked up once Finn and Blaine arrived. Mr. Schuester eyed the dark-haired junior kindly. The rest of Kurt's Glee friends gave him small smiles. Blaine felt relieved that they were all there for Kurt –to support the countertenor… to see him off.

Rachel stood up and walked towards the pair who was standing. She gave Finn a peck on the cheek and Blaine a brief hug. She then smoothed the skirt of her navy blue mini dress. She looked at Blaine.

"Are you ready, Blaine?"

'_Ready? Will I ever be ready to see Kurt go?'_

Blaine smiled at Rachel briefly before turning to Finn.

"I want to see him now."

Finn nodded at him, then at Rachel, before ushering Blaine out of the sitting room and down the hall. He stopped in front of a dark paneled mahogany door with a bronze handle, gave it a twist and pushed it open. He turned to Blaine.

"You'll need to say goodbye soon."

Blaine tipped his head wordlessly and entered the room. The first thing he noticed upon entering was the large closet that stood by the corner farthest from the door. It was open. It was empty. A four-piece luggage was packed and ready to go –to storage most likely. Kurt had so many wonderful pieces of clothing- pity; he could not take them where he's going. Blaine let himself smile at that fleeting remembrance. A desk stood beside the closet, adorned with cut-outs and numerous what-not –most, if not all were related to Broadway. The books that were once littered on top of it have been placed back in the shelves long before. It was already almost bare as was the rest of the room. In the middle of the space sat a double bed, its thick white coverlet already turned up –not a crease was in sight. Its pillows fluffed meticulously. Blaine carefully laid the bouquet of roses on it.

On either side of the bed, stood two side tables; on top of them were two identical picture frames: the left one carried a photograph of a woman with long deep blonde hair and sparkling green eyes –she had a month-old baby sleeping peacefully in her arms; the one on the right hand side on the other hand, showed two boys with their arms wrapped around each other, huge smiles on their faces, wearing identical uniforms –their eyes, twinkling, as if all was well in the world.

Blaine smiled at the image and grabbed it. He slipped the photo out of the frame and placed it in his pocket.

"You're not stealing from me, are you?" a soft voice asked. Blaine spun around. He knew and loved that voice since forever.

"Kurt,"

Kurt stood by his en suite bathroom door, looking unnervingly plain and subdued in a white t-shirt and blue jeans. He smiled ruefully at Blaine and gestured at the photo the latter took.

"I may want that for voodoo practice after I leave the facility you know,"

Blaine winced.

"The way you say 'facility' –you make it sound like a prison sentence, Kurt." Blaine bit his lip. Kurt looked at him knowingly and sighed.

"I'll be locked up for six months without even a photograph of my family and friends to keep me company –no phone calls, no internet access –"

"Kurt, it will be for your own good." Blaine said softly, moving towards his boyfriend. "You need to recover Kurt. You need help."

Kurt did not react to what Blaine had said. Instead, the older boy sat on his made bed. He eyed the roses but did not make a move to touch them.

"Everybody in that room out there says the same thing. Do you really want to see me gone?"

Blaine shook his head mentally before responding.

"We love you, Kurt. I- I know I told you I wouldn't tell a soul about what you did, but after that accident – I can't lose you Kurt –"

"You already did."

Blaine sighed.

"I want you whole and healthy – it might be too much to ask but I wish things were back to the way they used to be –"

"By sending me to a mental institution?" Kurt blurted out heatedly. "I survived that stupid car accident only to you guys lock me up again? Wasn't three weeks in that hospital bed enough for you?"

Blaine took a deep breath.

"It's not a mental institution, Kurt. It's a therapy facility."

"It's a glorified prison, Blaine!" Kurt spat out. "You want me locked up away from you all so you could all go back to your perfect little fairytale worlds without me pulling you down –"

"Kurt, that's not true! All of us –we all care about you. We want you to get help. I want you to get help Kurt, for you –for us two. Please."

Blaine made a move to envelop his boyfriend in a hug but Kurt pushed his away rather violently. Blaine ran his fingers through his dark curls.

"Kurt, please – I won't see you in six –please don't leave mad –"

"Mad?" Kurt stood up and let out a dark chuckle. "Don't you mean, crazy?" He then picked up a leather duffel bag that was by his bedroom door –it contained nothing but the bare essentials. He made a move to leave the room when Blaine caught up with him and held him back.

"I'll wait for you, Kurt."

Kurt spun around and stared at Blaine with a dark gleam in his once lively blue-green eyes.

"I won't be back Blaine. I will go only because there is nothing left for me here but, Kurt Hummel's gone for good. Once I step out of this room –"

"Kurt –"

"I loved you Blaine." Kurt took his eyes off of the dark-haired junior. "But all of that is now gone. Things –things have now changed. A lot."

"Kurt –"

"Don't wait for me anymore Blaine. If ever I survive that hell hole… things will never be the same. Please don't expect -I'm much too broken to be whole again."

Without another word, the countertenor stepped out of his room, bypassing the throng of people there to see him off in the sitting room and straight outside to a nondescript white van parked among the low bushes. As two scrub-clad attendants secured Kurt's seatbelt and drove him away, Blaine remained standing by the window. No matter what…

'_Kurt, please stay safe... I'll be waiting.'_

_**~FIN~**_

**010101010**

**Reviews are welcomed.**

**Author's challenge: If you think you could write more of this story, please feel free to do so. You can do an alternate ending stemming from chapter 5 or an epilogue after Kurt's recovery (or the lack thereof, whichever you fancy.) Please PM the author if you plan to take on this challenge so that readers of this story may read your work. Thanks.**


End file.
